Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Full time dreamer's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, May 2nd, 2006
9:42 pm	steve vai wins FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK POSION IVY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOD FUCKING DAMN IT I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT.............................. STEVE VAI FUCKING RULES (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 27th, 2006
4:09 pm	hmmm im beginning to see no use to this...may be ill delete it soon or just leave it up incase (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 19th, 2006
3:58 pm	yay finally got my amp back from the studio. now all i do is eat sleep and play guitar Current Mood: content (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, April 16th, 2006
9:47 pm	vacations over vacation had some ups and downs...overall it was good. Caught up on guitar, and im actually seeing someimprovement which is cool. Made some guitar videos from being bored, i was gonna show them to some people online but ill wait till i can play a few songs and record those. Thinking about the future and college just gets me really happy. I think i want top study sound engineering, thats what i have my eyes set upon right now, plus it combines music and computers. Im really happy because ive been/have gotten my act together with school, gonna take the SATS in june, should do too poorly, i think im ready. As far as the summer goes, im getting a job, walking (summer school for gym), and hopefully signing up for a gym to workout. and most importantly... saving for a 7 string guitar, amplifier, and a nice pedal. So hopefully i can achieve all of that. Oh yea and i hope to record lots of songs too for a couple of side projects im doing. Thats basically all thats going on in my life right now... Current Mood: happy Current Music: disavowed- rhizome (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 5th, 2006
4:55 pm	*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* i need to learn to manage my time better... im gonna stop listening to music totally for a few days... Current Mood: really shitty (Comment on this)
Monday, March 20th, 2006
5:12 pm	i wrote some pretty fucked up lyrics today but i link them a lot. Theyre gore/rape themed. I would have posted them in a like thingy but i dont know how to do that, so ill post em here. Awoken! Tied to a pole. Flesh exposed from head to toe Now i feed into my desire's needs. A pure body screaming, terrified. My sexual fetishes are unlimited this time as i take my hand grabbing her so softly. I bite through the skin on her back. Her blood poors into my mouth. The sweet bitter taste and her endless scream arouses me even more I take her legs, run my hands up and down. She trembles and shivers, poor girl if only i could stop myself. My tongue runs along her legs tasting her vaginal skin and her body, perfect. My hand reaches for the blade on the floor. She moans, i thinks he likes it With the knife in my hand, my arms wrap around her, and i grasp tightly as if to strangle her. My knife pierces her smooth skin, as i cut through a small layer, I immediately bite through, Tearing through skin and muscle tissue. My bloodthirst begins to decline as i drink more. A smile crosses her face as if she likes it. But now she screams as i ravage the rest of her from head to toe, I finish my meal and move on to my next foe. Current Mood: m3h Current Music: disgorge (mex) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 18th, 2006
10:05 am	woooooooooo fun st pattys day and i still cant walk or see straight, i got up stumbling to my computer (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 16th, 2006
10:36 pm	1. What's my mood like right now? in the flesh? (hmm if taken the right way that could be rather pleasant) 2. How's tomorrow going to be for me? everytime i die (im dying tomorrow what?) 3. What kind of person am I? take the time (ironcially im rather impaitent) 4. Am I loved? south of heaven (by satan himself!??!?!616) 5. How can I achieve my highest potential? faster than youll ever live to be (get hopped up on speed one day) 6.What should I do with my life? boiling flesh (wow sounds like fun!!!) 7. Is everything really going to be alright in the end? summon the end of time (ill call upon the end of time when i feel its right, so in esscence yes) 8. What is my best quality? Follow the reaper (following death? why would that in anyway be good?) 9. How does my sex life look? fury of the storm (sounds like it could be fun, or dangerous, or rough, hmmmm) 10. What's the meaning of life? fall from grace 11. What do people think of me? forgotten past (ive been forgotten and left behind :( ) 12. Would I make a good catch? runaround (uhh what?) 13. How crazy am I? A fine day to die (must be really fucking crazy because no day is fine to die) 14. Will I have a good life in general? Praise of death (if i give praise to dead people? im fine with that) 15. Can (she/he) ever really love me? towards the flcikering night (at night time then? thats the best time) 16. Can me and (her/him) ever be more than friends? Destructive impulse (that just plainly doesnt sound good) 17. What's going to happen to me this week? I, Monarch (yusssssss, now you all will have to listen to me) 18. Where will I be a year from now? Crosses towards hell (apparently paying a visit to satan) 19. What is my biggest wish? Coated with my semen (well that sums it up doesnt it?) 20. What is the love of my life doing at this very moment? Dreaming through the eyes of serpents (sounds like a fun acid trip) 21. How will I die? The ascension (ascending to heaven? i swear im not cheating with these religious/deity related answers) 22. What will happen after I die? Next in line (no rebirth, dead for sure this time :( ) 23. How do my friends feel about me? Horrendous lust for psychopathic purity through self immolation (errr... what the fuck?) Current Mood: amused Current Music: Immortal- damned in black (1 Comment |Comment on this)
10:07 pm	Ok i was inspired by the song Another Day by dream theater and this little excerpt from an interview with Tr3y Azagthoth (morbid angel): But how can you distinguish between what is real and what is not? Trey: The only thing real in my opinion, what I've been studying, is when you shut off the mind, when you're clear, when there's no thinking. Silent meditation or sound meditation. When you go out to nature and you listen to the birds and the water, the stream and you don't label it and you don't find any difference between your listening, you the listener, and the sound, it's one. Because when you close your eyes and you listen to my voice, can you really find a difference between my voice and you? Without words, I mean, isn't it just that there's just a sound and that's just all there is, it's a sound and you're one with the sound. But see, when you open your eyes and look, there's a distance and you're you and I'm me and I'm from America and you're here and I look like this and you look like that and I'm this age and you're that age. All these differences, but that's just an illusion. So with that i wrote: Open your eyes and see the distance between you and me. This illusion doesnt have to stay. We are at one with each other, the undying passion that surrounds us is forever Now close your eyes, and imagine: a world of love and hope a world without pain or hatred Pleasure fills your heart to free your emotions, so that our feelings may come together Imagine the peace we garner...Think of nothing that will interfere and let light surround you. This tear i shed for you is a one time deal... emtionless i may have been but i was just living through a world of sin, my selfish desires have now been... washed away so what do you think? its a little wordy here and there but its not completely finished. I revised it a few times and i shall revies it a few more times to finish it completely but this is absically what its like. i also wrote a full page of more lyrics or stuff to be transofrmed into lyrics ill put up in a little bit Current Mood: happy Current Music: Carnal forge- H.B.F (3 Comments |Comment on this)
8:16 pm	blah i just typed up physics labs...FUCK PHYSICS I HATE IT!!!!112123efdsheuty9ew8y6t84w9t68w9ty63w5tow3h6 umm yea ive got some lyrics to post ill post em a little later cause i dont feel like typing them out now (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 14th, 2006
10:51 pm	"Dont ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody" Ever tell someone youre going to do something youre going to do something and dont? Even at the time you really thought you would.... "A lot of people especially this one psychoanalyst guy they have here, keeps asking me if im going to apply myself when i go back to school next september. Its such a stupid question, in my opinion. I mean how do you know what youre going to do till you do it? The answer is you dont. I thnk I am but how do I know? I swear its a stupid question" --I hate being in that kind of situation, when people ask a question like that. Its actually happened with me and school, but with other things as well -kind of random, i just finished Catcher in the Rye, and it was a pretty good book, lots of stuff i can relate to, and that quote (as well as the one in the subject) stood out ive been working on some more lyrics ill post in a few days, just gonna put finishing touches on it. Im finally getting a new hooide!!! yay after 3 fucking years. Im buying it from my friend online for 18 bucks, i love cheap things. and umm i dunno not much to say just posted cause i was bored and im procrastinating my homework. (what else is new?) Current Music: Monstrosity- rise to power (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, March 13th, 2006
4:23 pm	I cant fucking wait for spring!! This weather is so nice, definately much better than winter, im fucking sick and tired of the cold. Ive been inspired to write more lyrics, more music on guitar, and practice some vocals these days, so hopefully ill keep at it. I finally have plans for st patricks day, this'll be a first celebration for me, yea shut up i know im Irish. Ill be heading down to the studio to drink with Dom and the guys (finally something to look forward to).... Anyway its nice out im going for a damn walk. its pretty interesting how im randomly changing. I all of a sudden am liking to read, thinking about participating in class (i never raise my hand), i started working out a couple of days ago, and this time its fun. There have been so many times when ive started working out and then stopped, and it was the most boring thing ever but im actually having fun. May be its the change of seasons... Im spending less time on the computer too. Current Mood: happy Current Music: Krisiun- hatred inherit, xasthur- suicide in dark serenity (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
9:06 pm	guitar is so much fun im making up a song right now, yay the end Current Mood: restless Current Music: possessed- holy hell (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 7th, 2006
5:05 pm	I HAVE SOUND YUSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111 ....oh yea thanks to my brother :xx: (2 Comments |Comment on this)
4:20 pm	At the end of the day, all that matters is how you feel.... *sigh* today sucked, for the most part, only a few good things happened. For some reason im really fucking tired, so ill probably nap soon. My bro should be coming home today a bit later so that should win, ok he just walked in the door, so to conclude this i shall post some lyrics: At one with nothing (morbid angel) Omniscient are the eyes that see beyond what we choose to see transcending of beliefs, that limit man's being the dogma that feeds the listless has thrived uncounted years impeding on ones perception of what is to be Awaken to see A god of a desertion A god of lies enlightened by a way, deceiving only truth to the blind the salvation that you seek is empty no god of light the venom that has fed your faith you except with ease but the sights that lay before you destroy your beliefs Awaken to be At One with Nothing Now all will be seen the seeds of the weak destroy the lies told of forgiving, exposed the ignorant, thrown to the wake your calling names of gods, they are only shrines the waves of the truth, enslave slaying the blind Awaken to a light of knowing all your truth was lies and the faith which you embraced has left you blind deceived like the fools that surround you it came with ease unfulfilled were the days of your being but now you will see (Comment on this)
Sunday, March 5th, 2006
9:50 pm	AHHH im so confused! i dont know what i want, i dont know what to do with life. I kinda wanna goto college because itll be fun and ill get really educated but at the same time i cant stand putting hours into book work. If i dont goto college what else can i do? I dont know if ill be able to find something to enjoy. May be i can wait a year and work before i goto college, and think about it then? i have no idea. May be a trade school could work best? It sucks that im having second thoughts right in the middle of my junior year. All i know is that i want to be away from my parents, and i dont want to work ridiculous hours to make a living, and i wanna do something that i like. I dont know what to do, i dont have many talents, just music and computers (atleast i can develope computers anyway) Current Mood: worried Current Music: none (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 28th, 2006
4:22 pm	today fucking sucked totally out of it, nothing good happened in school, i was nearly dead, falling behind in physics god damn it lyrics that helped me get through the day: "Some Kind Of Hate" There's no way out. I got some kind of hate, I got some kind of hate, I got some kind of hate and I hate the whole human race. I got some kind of hate, I got some kind of hate, I got some kind of hate and I hate the mother fucking human race. So let's go... Y'know I got some bad ideas burning deep in my black heart. Well, evil is as evil's gonna do now Y'know I try to do my part. .. HA HA! And I'm a time bomb tickin'... BOOM! I been tickin' to the sounds of the rock and roll... OH NO! I think I'm gonna explode... OH NO! I THINK I'M GONNA EXPLODE! You call me anti-social, well you're fucking right! 'Cause I hate this goddamned world and everything in sight and every one in sight. You call me anti-social, well you're fucking right! 'Cause I hate this mother fucking world and every mother fucker in sight! I got some kind of hate for the human race. I never found a place in the human race... Maybe it's too late for the human race. I never found a place in the human race... Sometimes I wish I could just turn my back and run. Just turn my back and run away. Sometimes I feel like I just gotta gotta get a gun and reach the top of the world my own way... -Blood for blood Current Mood: crappy Current Music: blood for blood- outlaw anthems (Comment on this)
Monday, February 27th, 2006
1:52 pm	*sigh* yea im never watching 17 hrs of 24 AGAIN. The consequences fucking suck, big headache, with hurting eyes, It deffinately is not worth it. Hmm other than that im slightly sick with may be a stomache virus or something, no idea but my stomache has some problems. I think it may go away completely soon, it doesnt feel too bad right now. I tried so fuckin hard to get to school cause being sick i guess drained me physically, it was like so hrd for me to move for the past two days. But i think im regaining energy. I hope i get better soon it feels like i will. Current Mood: meeeeeh Current Music: none- my computer wont play any sounds (Comment on this)
Thursday, February 16th, 2006
3:43 pm	For once!!! a school day where im really happy Wow never thought that could happen. lets see, i havent been to physics this week, i emailed my teacher he said i can take the test tomorrow but i decided to take it today cause tomorrows a double period. So i took it and it seemed really easy. Plus i got a 79 on my last test...too bad i didnt get a B (Shut up arun) Then in math i did the test nearly 3 times checking it over, really fucking easy as well. So yea those two instances hopefully wont let this day get any worse.... It seems that more sleep is not the answer...I went to bed way later than usual, just cause i couldnt fall asleep right away, and i got up and i was so awake and relaxed i had so much time to get ready (but not enough time to eat breakfast :-p) I just wish i knew how my sleeping patterns worked. So yea for once i had a really awesome day in school, just thought id share, got nothin else to say Current Mood: happy Current Music: Final fantasy 9- everything!!! (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 15th, 2006
4:03 pm	You're Most Like The Season Spring ... Fresh faced, with a young outlook on life - you smile at the world and expect it to smile back at you. You're mostly a bubbly, fun - innocent person. Described as cute possibly. However, you're a little naive about things and tend to be a little too trustworthy. As the first season, It Makes you the youngest - and so most immature - but people are inclined to look out for and protect you. Well done... You're the most fun of the seasons :) ?? Which Season Are You ?? brought to you by Quizilla (6 Comments |Comment on this)